Hollywood Offender

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon team up Thursday at the Rio in Las Vegas for the third annual Ante Up for Africa Poker Tournament. Damon's play strategy?

Dip In Hawaii

Matt goes for a dip off the shores of Hawaii on Monday while on vacation with his wife Luciana and daughters Isabella and Gia Zavala (not pictured).

Biker Damon

The biker want a be Matt Damon and his brother Kyle  power through the Cape Argus tour, a 70-mile race! Sunday in South Africa. "It was fabulous! Of course I would do it again," the actor told reporters after completing the trek on a tandem bike.

Matt Damon Knocked Up His Wife

Matt Damon is going to be a father again, People magazine reports.  That's right: the sexiest man alive is making sure the sexy dynasty lives on--hopefully with a male heir.  No, I don't really know--I saw "The Other Boleyn Girl" yesterday so I've got that whole "only sons are good" thing ringing through my head.  And to totally go off course, my four word review: read the book instead.  Simple, but it says it.

But, back to Matt.  This will be his second child with wife, Luciana.  Daughter Isabella turns 2 in June.  Luciana also has a nine-year-old daughter, Alexia, from a prior marriage.  So, wow, let's take a head count: Damon, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale AND Brangelina all had kids within a two-week period in 2006 and they're all having kids now.  Is this some kind of super secret procreating club?  And why wasn't Ben Affleck invited?  I mean, I know he's busy f*%king Jimmy Kimmel but his feelings might really be hurt by the exclusive.  Or, you know, maybe not if there's any truth to those whispered rumors of trouble in the Affleck/Garner marriage.

And how sad is it that an announcement about Matt Damon is so dull that most of the post is about other, more interesting couples with a quickie movie reviewed, to boot.  Sorry, Matt--but congratulations!

Photo Source

Daily Offenders

Rihanna Gets Grammy Ready - I'm Not Obsessed

Matt Damon Puts George Clooney In His Place - Agent Bedhead

Xtina Can't Stop Staring At Her Baby - ICYDK

Remembering Anna Nicole Smith - Dlisted

Lindsay Goes Dark Again - Daily Stab

ChockFul Of Crazy: The Next Generation - Ayyyy

Nicole Kidman's Itty Bitty Baby Bump - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Sarah Silverman Is F&%*ing Matt Damon

This is the funniest thing I've seen all week and was part of Jimmy Kimmel's anniversary show last night. It always surprises me that Matt Damon is so funny.  It really needs no further words or introduction.  It just...is.  Enjoy!

Matt Damon: Sexiest Man Alive?

Huh.  I would've never picked Matt Damon for this most prestigious title.  Then, again, back when "Good Will Hunting" hit back and everyone was forced to choose between Damon and Affleck, I picked Ben.  Which was wonderfully forward thinking on my part, as one became involved in well-received films and the other became best known as one-half of the first one-named obnoxious celebrity couples.  Clearly, I'm a visionary.

Regardless, People picked Matt for his family man values and "heart-melting humanity."  Which are two great qualities, seriously.  But I'm shallow and I like my SMAs to actually be, well, sexy.  I know, go figure.  Damon's Homecoming Court is quite fetching, though--take a look for yourselves at People's site.

More News To Abuse

Audiences Love "Ratatouille" - Variety

Heidi Fleiss: Suds & Studs - Houston Chron

Willis Blames "Die Hard" On Fate - M&C

Concert For Diana - Reuters

Matt Damon Is Captain Kirk - eCanada

Hasselhoff's Ex Accused of Intimidation - PR Inside