Hollywood Offender

Lime Martini

Is that shaken, or stirred with lime? 001 Jerry Seinfeld joins 007, Daniel Craig, for some refreshments at the Vanity Fair post-Oscars party in Hollywood.

Someone Tried To Kill Jerry Seinfeld

OK, not really--but if this was a soap opera "failing brakes" would be code for someone trying to off the guy. 

On Saturday night, Jerry Seinfeld was in the Hamptons (when saying that you have to lock your jaw and stick your nose up in the air to signify just how rarefied the air is in that pricey community) when the brakes on one of his kajillion vintage cars and he flipped the car, reports People magazine.  He told police he tried the emergency brake and when that, too, failed he swerved to avoid driving into an intersection.  That's when the 1967 Fiat BTM flipped over.  Luckily, he walked away unhurt, but still able to bring the funny (shhh, no one tell him he's not--he was just through a trying ordeal):

"Because I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do.  It is not something I plan to make a habit."

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STFU, Jerry Seinfeld

About a month ago Jerry Seinfeld found out he was being sued by the author a cookbook who claims Jessica Seinfeld plagiarized her previously published book.  I say Jerry's being sued because, let's face it, if Jessica wasn't married to him her book, about hiding vegetables in foods so kids will eat them, would've never gotten published.  Anyway, the woman, Missy Chase Lapine, is also suing for slander and defamation of character because Mr. Hilarious called her a "wacko" on national television. 

Fast forward to last Friday when the papers on the suit were finally filed, reports US Weekly.  Surprise, surprise, Seinfeld's lawyers are poo-pooing the charges, saying "the idea of sneaking healthy foods into a child's diet is not original to your author" and that Jerry's  oh-so-witty wacko remark is simply "overstatements of opinion for comic effect."

Ah, I see.  Basically, Jerry thinks he's funny, so anything he says is A-OK.  Thanks for clearing that up.  I'm sure that makes the woman feel so much better.   

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Jerry Seinfeld's Big Fat Mouth Gets Him Sued

Jessica Seinfeld, wife of Jerry Seinfeld and author of a cookbook, is being sued by another author for copyright infringement and defamation of character. 

Missy Chase Levine filed the suit on Monday, claiming Seinfeld's book Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Getting Your Kids Eating Good Food, was plagiarized from her book The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Food in Kids' Favorite Meals, which was published six months earlier.  Well, they book have ridiculously long titles, that's one similarity. 

Per People, the lawsuit reads:  "This action for copyright and trademark infringement and defamation arises from conduct that gives new meaning to the terms 'arrogance' and 'greed."

The suit also gives examples of identical language in both books. 

I think what really pisses Chase Levine off is that Seinfeld went on David Letterman last October and out and out called her a "wacko."  You can watch the video of Jerry acting like a douche here.  If you can't be bothered (and I don't blame you), the gist of it was this comment:

"There's another woman who had another cookbook. And it was a similar kind of thing. My wife never saw the book, read the book, never used the book. But the books came out at the same time. So this woman says 'I sense this could be wacko moment,' so she comes out and accuses my wife."

Arrogant ass. Ten bucks says the Seinfelds end up settling this suit, as it sounds like the woman has a great case.

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Jerry Seinfeld Attends "Bee Movie" Premiere

Jerry Seinfeld waves to photogs and fans as he and wife Jessica attend the premiere of the "Bee Movie" in Los Angeles over the weekend.  You know, I used to like Jerry, but these days? Not so much.  As for his wife, it's simple: I've never liked her - at all.

Speaking of Jessica, the Huffington Post has a great post written by Katherine Thomson, who wonders if the Mrs. minds very much that Jerry is promoting McDonald's, all the while touting the deliciousness of such delicacies as brownies made with spinach - one of her many recipes featured in her new book, "Deceptively Delicious."

Among those who attended the Bee gig; Renee Zellweger, Nicole Sheridan and of course, The Bee.

Photos: Courtesy Picture Perfect Agency