Hollywood Offender

Arm Candy

Eva Longoria gets a arm full on pal Mario Lopez after reportedly celebrating her belated birthday Monday at her Hollywood restaurant, Beso. The Desperate Housewives star turned 34 on March 15. I wonder what she got from Mario?

Tight Sqeeze

Felicity Huffman puts the squeeze on pal and fellow Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria Parker at the premiere of Phoebe in Wonderland on Sunday in Beverly Hills.

 

Eva Beso

Eva Longoria Parker plays host with the most Thursday at a fundraiser for the New York Rescue Workers Detox Project at her Hollywood restaurant Beso.

Interesting Trio

Eva Longoria Parker, Victoria Beckham and Some chick who needs a tan make a beautiful trio at the 17th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar party, held at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood.

Parrot Fish

The colorful Eva Longoria makes an appearance in a colorful patterned coat while making the New York Fashion Week scene Tuesday at the designer's fall runway show. www.myplanetx.com

Fat Jokes

Leave it to the ladies of Wisteria Lane to weigh in on neighborhood gossip.

Eva Longoria Parker’s Desperate Housewives costar, Felicity Huffman, is putting those pregnancy rumors to rest.

"She's just fat, that’s all there is to it!" Huffman, 45, joked to PEOPLE about Longoria Parker at Saturday's re-opening of the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles.

Rumors of a pregnancy for Longoria Parker, 33, and her husband, Tony Parker, have been circulating all summer after the actress wore a loose-fitting sundress on a shopping trip and later debuted a fuller-than-normal bikini body in July.

Longoria Parker says she can’t wait to have children, but her fuller figure is all for the sake of her role as Gabby on Housewives.

In addition to putting on weight for the role, Longoria Parker will also don a fat suit this season to play an overworked housewife when the show's storyline jumps ahead five years.

Daily Offenders

Heidi And Spencer Just Say No To The White House - Just Jared

David Duchovny Thinks Scientology Is Good For A Laugh - Agent Bedhead

Brad Pitt And Sean Penn Don't Like Each Other - Celebitchy

Another Unjust Elimination On "American Idol" - Mollygood

Benji Madden's Bandmates Hate Paris - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Kelly Clarkson Likes To Be Naked - IDLYITW

Denise Richards' Reality Is A Pot Belly - TMZ

Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Like Toast - Daily Stab

Eva Longoria: What's With The Maternity Wear?

I know it's not technically maternity wear to wear a long dress with an empire waist to just run around doing errands.  But, given Angelina Jolie and Gwen Stefani have pretty much lived in such dresses the last few months as their bellies got bigger, I cannot help but think that Eva Longoria, despite her protests to the contrary, LOVES when the tabloids think she's pregnant.  Hey, it gets her picture in the magazines, right?  And gives her an excuse to deny it, while also stating how wonderful and perfect her marriage to Tony Parker is and how she can't wait to have a million of his little French-speaking babies.

So, here she is, in all her pink, caftan glory, leaving Ken Paves salon on Saturday.  Why that man gets so many celebrity clients is beyond me.  I'd rather take my chances with my own stylist, who charges me far less than his crazy rates. 

Having said that, I would kill for that Gerard Darel bag.  It's love at first sight--to the point I investigated how much it would cost me to have one.  The answer?  About $900.  Which is a lot of money for a purse, but it's so pretty and I feel like we could have a long, glorious--not to mention fashionable--life together.  I haven't pulled the trigger just yet, but, oh, I'm tempted.

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Related:

Eva Longoria Sells The Unsellable

Tony Parker Means Business

Tony Parker Denies It All

Eva Longoria: Trouble In Paradise Already?

Eva Longoria Went To The Chapel, Got Married

Becks Does "60 Minutes," Posh Shops

Did anyone watch David Beckham's "60 Minutes" interview with, as Kathy Griffin so aptly christened him, that yummy Anderson Cooper?  I did--couldn't help myself.  And while his high-pitched voice is a distraction, I couldn't help but like the guy.  Don't believe for a second he doesn't know what he's worth and that he hasn't worked his ass off to build the Beckham brand--and don't get me going on how better men have tried, and failed, to make soccer popular in the United States--but he comes off rather genuine.  Plenty of gratuitous shots of Golden Balls with his soccer jersey off, too, and that's always a plus.

In the meantime, Posh continued to spend hubby's millions by joining new BFF Eva Longoria on Rodeo Drive on Friday.  By the way, it's been months since we've seen Posh and former alleged BFF Katie Holmes doing, well, whatever it is the two of them did when they got together.  Certainly couldn't have been lunching, as I could just picture how that would go: 

Posh: "I'm simply stuffed from my glass of Diet Coke, Kay-tee--you eat the lettuce leaf."
Katie: "No, really, that breath mint I had last night still has me full...you take it."

Lather, rinse, repeat.  But, I digress.  Eva and Vicks, accompanied by Romeo, hit the shops and photo-opped their way to a grand old time.  I love that Victoria always has to bring her fashion A game no matter what the occasion.  I'd love to get a look inside her closet.  I picture something like Cher's from "Clueless," complete with the computerized mix and match software so she could see how outfits worked without having to try them on.  Either that or she has a fleet of assistants to do that for her.

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Eva Longoria Sells The Unsellable

Eva Longoria has been all over New York City the past couple days pimping her new movie, "Over Her Dead Body."  Not that it's probably going to help: the movie looks like crap.  And the critics, so far, aren't exactly tripping over themselves to change that perception.  But, you know, I could be wrong.  Hell, I said Katie Holmes' "Mad Money" looked awful and she looked terrible in it.  Oh, wait...

Anyway, here's Eva strutting her 90-lb. self at The Late Show last night.  Check out those shoes she's wearing.  I bet she reached five whole feet with those puppies on.  Though I am envious, as they are, I must admit, fabulous. 

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