Hollywood Offender

Katie Holmes Goes To Boot Camp

Uh-huh.  According to Star magazine Katie Holmes has been a bad, bad robot and was sent to Scientology "Boot Camp" so she could get back in ethics.  Or on ethics.  On top of ethics?  Eh, it's something about ethics--at least that's what Tommy was talking about in that promotional Scieno video that still gives me nightmares to this day.  Anyway, per the tabloid, Katie was sent to Gold Base, the secret Scientology compound in Hemet, California, for an intense 3-day course to get her back up to working speed.  Per a source:

"It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes.  Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels."

The reason Tommy ordered thought this would be just the ticket for his employee loving wife was because the future ex-Mrs. Cruise was getting a little too mouthy--suggesting such things like going to NYC without Tom to appear in a Broadway show (by the way, there has yet to be any confirmation she's even been offered this part).  Tommy said no way, and, voila--boot camp it is!

Per the source, these auditing sessions can last up to 36 hours straight, with the person being audited getting little sleep or food.  Which, for Katie, translates to your average Tuesday evening through Thursday morning, just without a shopping trip to Barney's crammed in between.

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Related:

Tom Cruise To Victoria Beckham: Stay Away From My Robot!

Katie Holmes: Woman On The Verge

Katie Holmes: It Only Hurts When She Smiles

Tom Cruise Has All The Answers

Dina Lohan Defends Lindsay...Again

You've gotta love Dina Lohan.  If only for her consistancy.  The woman has managed to raise a daughter who she pimped out since the age of 10 and who ended up in rehab twice before she was even legally able to drink and yet she'll still justify everything Lindsay does..  And in light of Lilo's questionable partying the last several weeks--with reports of her back on the booze and hanging out 24/7 with BFF/possible girlfriend Samantha Ronson--what else can we expect except for Dina to shoo it all away.

"They have been friends forever. Charlotte is a dear friend, too. Her brother is a doll; they are just friends of the family."

Of course they are!  And Lindsay is threatening random Olsen twins about a "just friend."  We believe you, Dina.  I guess a lesbian relationship doesn't fit into her plans for media domination.  At least not yet.  Next year if there's a reality show deal on the line she'll be signing up for "My Gay Daughter" quicker than you can say "US Weekly cover story."

As to the rumors that Lindsay is partying too much?  This is rich:

"It is sad.Lindsay is being so good."

Head in the sand-itis.  I love the implication that it's all, yet again, the big, bad media that is spreading these false rumors.  That would be the same media she has on speed dial when it suits her purpose.  Dina is seriously the devil. 

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Related:

Get Ready For Bad Reality TV

Dina Lohan: "Tastefully Done"

Dina Lohan Plays Protective Mommy

Lindsay Lohan: The Excuses Flow Like Wine

Rumer Willis: Most Beautiful?

People magazine has come out with their annual "Most Beautiful People" list and...Rumer Willis is on it?  Isn't it a little late for an April Fool's joke?  Because, c'mon, let's be honest.  Rumer is not beautiful.  Rumer may be interesting looking and she may have a unique look, but beautiful?

But let's not be fooled.  I think we all know--or we all should know--that People caters to celebrities; more to the point, celebrities' publicists.  And what this honor bestowed on Rumer illustrates is that she has one thing going for her and it's not perfect bone structure, rather a great publicist.  A publicist whose sole purpose is to get Rumer's name out there in the most positive way possible.  And what better way, with several B-level movies on her career horizon, for Rumer to be seen as someone to be reckoned with, someone who's doing it without her famous parents' help, than a little People sanctioned blessing.

Really, though, she may want it enough, but there are more 20-something starlets in Hollywood than there are Starbucks, and a little free publicity, no matter how good, is only going to get her so far.  Rumer still has a long way to go to attain that A-List status she so obviously craves.  In the meantime, she's a "beautiful person."  I guess.

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Related:

Rumer Willis: "I'm Down To Earth"

Rumer Willis: Just Give Up

Rumer Willis: Begging For Attention

Paula Abdul's Latest Blunder

Oh, that Paula Abdul!  Always good for a laugh--even if they are all at her expense. 

So, last night on "American Idol" each of the remaining 5 contestants had to sing two Neil Diamond songs.  Because the show is only an hour, Ryan Seacrest hauled them out like cattle after they all sang their first song and had the judges do a quickie critique.  Paula does her thing, but one problem: she gives feedback to Jason Castro on two songs.  Which means one of two things: the show is scripted beyond belief--which could account for Ryan's semi-flustered "you're seeing the future, baby" comment--or Paula was late taking her meds.  Or early.  Could go either way there.

Paula claimed she got mixed up (shocking!) and that her second song comments were really meant for David Cook's first song.  Of course that doesn't explain why her first reaction was "I thought you sang twice" when called on her blunder.  Doh!

I swear, though, it made my night watching this.  I love the shot of the contestants on stage as she's talking.  You know they're all thinking "Huh?"  That crazy pillhead really does bring the unintentional comedy gold, that's for sure.

Everyone Jumps On The "Let's Defend Miley" Bandwagon

Everyone is coming out of the woodwork and having their say about the Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair photos.  The latest blowhards to open their mouths are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. 

Oh, and let me state it flat-out right now: I have never watched "The Hills."  I'm on record as admitting I'll watch any piece of garbage Hollywood throws at me and even I won't watch this.  Apparently, I do have some standards.

Anyway, so Heidi apparently phoned up Extra (via US Weekly) and let them know what she thought about Miley.  Because that's something we all were waiting for.  I often ask myself "What would Heidi think?" Now I know.

"I think she’s a young girl in Hollywood, and she’s just having fun.  [She]'s exploring herself.”

I guess she's been so busy reading her own tabloid reports that she doesn't even realize Miley has said she's embarrassed by the photos.  Then Spencer, never to be left speechless, weighed in with this glowing compliment:

“I didn’t think it was that bad. Supposedly, she’s wearing a top underneath. It’s artistic.”

His comment just oozes smarminess, doesn't it?  I don't like him solely on that peach-fuzz beard he's working.  It's just annoying.

But, wait--there's more.  Rosie O'Donnell, naturally, also had to add her two cents, because she's Rosie and that's what she does.  I guess we should be thankful at least she doesn't do it on "The View" anymore.

"Listen, Annie Leibovitz – I had two photo shoots with her.  You kind of do what she says. It's intimidating. I also didn't think it was a pornographic photo in any capacity. I thought it was sort of a beautiful portrait..I like the one of her and her dad, too. I don't know. It's Annie Leibovitz, people."

So if it was Sid, the guy who takes the photos at Sears, it wouldn't be OK, but because it's "Annie Leibovitz, people" it's fine?  Plus, she's basically saying Annie bullied Miley into this.  I kind of don't think that's Vanity Fair and Leibovitz's position.  You know, mainly because that's what they said themselves.

God, is this controversy over yet? 

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Related:

The Miley Cyrus Story Rages On

Morning Offenders

Basque Is Burning - TMZ

Hollywood Incest Is "Best" - Candy

Quote of the Day - Celebrity Smack!

Billie Piper Expects a Little "Who" -  Girl Retro

More McCready Mania - FB&C

The Spice Girls Just Say, "No" - In Case You Didn't Know

It's All About The Chaos - Burbanked

Rosie Calls For Calm - People

Britney Hits The Gym - Daily Mail

Mariah Keeps Mum on Marriage - NY Post

Jennifer Lopez Changes Her Tune About New Reality Show

I love a good backpedal.  Less than a week after it was announced that Jennifer Lopez would star in a reality series that would focus on "how Lopez juggles her career--including launching a new perfume line--and motherhood," comes the denial from Camp J. Lo that it's not going to have anything to do with her children. Per her manager, Simon Fields:

“It’s a show that will track the creation, production and eventual launch of a new fragrance. Jennifer will appear in a creative, entrepreneurial capacity and will absolutely not feature her children and family life.”

Uh-huh.  So, one of two things happened: La Lopez got some negative public feedback from pimping out her babies or she doesn't want to share the spotlight with a couple of droolers.  Either way, I'm not buying that she's suddenly protecting the privacy of her family--which is clearly the implication here.  Please, the woman is an empire.  She didn't get from the block to owning the block by not micro-managing every aspect of her career.  That original statement would've never flown through if she didn't rubber stamp it.

Still...it makes me wonder what she's up to.  A "special guest appearance" by the bay-bees in the season finale?  Is she using them as bait for a season two?  When she, I don't know, launches her own like of mink eyelashes?  There's got to be an angle there.  With her, there always is.

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Related:

Jennifer Lopez Gets Real

Mel Gibson is Back

Mel Gibson has agreed to star in "Edge of Darkness," marking a return to the front of the camera for the first time since 2002. Martin Campbell will direct the feature adaptation of the six-hour 1985 BBC miniseries, which Campbell also directed.

Variety reports that Gibson will play a police investigator whose activist daughter is killed. As the character delves deeper into the case, he uncovers systemic corruption that led to his daughter's death.

Gibson's last feature roles were "Signs" and "We Were Soldiers," spending intervening years as a director, first on "The Passion of the Christ" in 2004 and "Apocalypto" in 2006.

Pairing up after their Oscar-winning "The Departed," William Monahan wrote the script for "Edge of Darkness" and Graham King is producing the film through his GK Films in Santa Monica, California.

Uma Thurman's Stalker on Trial

An alleged stalker tried to force his way into actress Uma Thurman's film trailer during a film shoot in New York, an aide to the actress told a jury.

Joseph La Corte testified in the stalking-and-harassment trial of fan Jack Jordan:

"Her hands were shaking, she was soaked. She couldn't sit still. She didn't want to get dressed."

According to the New York Daily News, La Corte testified two Teamsters prevented Jordan from barging into Thurman's trailer in November 2005. La Corte then put the shaken actress into a vehicle for the one-block ride to set of "My Super Ex-Girlfriend."

Thurman, star of the "Kill Bill" series, was also planning to take the stand in what the prosecution called Jordan's two-year campaign of emotional blackmail:

Assistant DA Colleen Walsh told the court:

"The University of Chicago literature grad threatened suicide if she didn't date him.Tell the defendant, 'Enough is enough.' The price of fame is not this."

Jordan's lawyer, George Vomvolakis, said his client is a former mental patient who doesn't understand boundaries and thinks the whole thing is "romantic."

More:

• Uma Thurman Will Testify at Stalker Trial

Wife of Vanilla Ice Drops Charges

Rapper Vanilla Ice won't be prosecuted for allegedly hitting his wife after all.

People magazine reported that Palm Beach County, Florida prosecutors said they decided against filing criminal charges against the rapper, real name Robert Van Winkle.

"There is insufficient credible evidence...due to the victim recanting her original statement and lack of an independent witness."

Vanilla Ice was arrested April 10 in Wellington, Florida after his wife told law enforcement officials he allegedly struck and kicked her.

Winkle attorney Bradford M. Cohen told the magazine:

"It was just a verbal argument. He didn't physically harm his wife."

A restraining order against the rapper has also been lifted.

More:

• Vanilla Ice Arrested