Hollywood Offender

Jessica Simpson Hospitalized

People.com is reporting that Jessica Simpson has been hospitalized since Friday with a kidney infection.  Not even a bad kidney infection--no, this is being described as "minor."  Yet, three days later she's still there?  Why?  Per a source:

"She had a fever and it seemed important to get it treated."

You know, I have really good health care coverage.  But if I had a "minor kidney infection" and a "fever," you know what my doctor would do?  Give me a prescription for antibiotics and tell me to go home and rest and drink a lot of fluids.  But Jess's doctor sticks her in the hospital for three days?  People are in for surgery and spend less time. 

I want to see pictures of her when she gets out.  If she's noticeably more toned looking I'm calling her lipo.  Which everyone knows is the treatment of choice for a kidney infection.

UPDATE: US Weekly has a statement from her rep saying she's been released.

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Two-Thirds Of A "Charmed" Reunion

Nostalgia alert!  Well, if you consider 1998 old school, which I guess I sort of do.  Anyway, I was never a "Charmed" fan to the extent it was must-see TV for me, but I liked it well enough.  I think what I really liked was all the behind-the-scenes drama the show had going for it.

A brief summary: Aaron Spelling created the show about 3 sisters who used their witchcraft to fight evil.  The "charmed ones" were played by Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs and Alyssa Milano.  At first all was sunshine and roses, then, as always seems to happen when Shannen is involved, things got ugly--specifically between her and Alyssa.  The fighting got so bad that, guess what?  Shannen's character got killed off after the third season.  Lesson to be learned: a Long Island hard-ass trumps a spoiled tv diva.

What is it about that woman?  I have a theory that if you're one of the approximately six people in the world who will put up with her crazy bitchiness, you're her friend for life.  But it's all on you.  If you don't fall in line--like Alyssa Milano and all her old 90210 cronies--it's sayonara city.  Clearly, Holly Marie Combs falls into the former category.  Here are the two leaving Nobu on Saturday night.  I wonder if Shannen's the type to badmouth all her old friends while Holly just sits there repeating "I'm staying out of it" all night.  I'd go with a resounding yes.

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Does Heath Ledger Have Another Child?

Why does death bring out the worst in some people?  It's like the universe's way of balancing out those who go the whole "I must be thankful for what I have and embrace my loved ones" route.  And with Heath Ledger's family, lines are clearly being drawn.

The problems all started not long after Heath's will was made public and it dictated that his beneficiaries were his parents, Kim and Sally, and his sisters.  Since the will pre-dated daughter Matilda being born, Kim made a statement saying she would, of course, be taken care of--as Heath would want. 

But for some reason (hmmm, could it be...greed?), Heath's uncles aren't happy with the situation.  First they went to the press with the stories about how Kim Ledger had screwed up their late grandfather's estate 20 years ago, and now one of the uncles is shooting off his mouth to the Australian press that Heath may have fathered another child when he was 17.  Per The Daily Telegraph, Hadyn Ledger is saying that had an affair with a 25-year-old woman who had a child after the relationship ended.

"There is a very real possibility that Heath was the father."

And maybe there's not, but you know what?  How is that any of the uncle's business?  Does he think he'll get some kind of finder's fee if this child--a girl who would now be about 11--is Heath's?  And did the uncle even think that this girl might know nothing of this alleged paternity and consider her mother's husband to be her father?  Nice of Hadyn Ledger to let the press know all of this.  If there's a chance the kid is Heath's, it's not up to these wacky uncles to bring it to the light of day.  OMG, I hate this story so much.  Now I'm all riled up and want to bitch-slap nasty, selfish, greedy Uncle Hadyn. 

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Jennifer Lopez Post-Babies: Slappin' On The War Paint

Look, I know Jennifer Lopez just had twins and I should be nice and everything, but what's the deal with her face?  And I'm not talking about how she still looks slightly bloated--as, again, she did give birth recently so that's to be expected.  Though she did tell People how she was "in no rush" to lose her pregnancy weight but it sure looks like a majority of it is gone--and she can't even claim the "breastfeeding just made the fat melt away" excuse du jour, as she opened her pie-hole and let the magazine--and all us plebes--know she was bottle feeding.  So, please, she probably started having the personal trainer make daily visits well before she ever claimed she wasn't even thinking about it.

But, I digress.  Back to the face.  Last night at the "Shine A Light" premiere in NYC it's hard not to wonder what she was thinking.  I'm talking about the make-up.  It's super extreme, isn't it?  I mean, I know J. Lo (by the way, now that I know she made the baby pictures deal with People on the condition they never call her that again I'm going to do it every chance I get.  J. Lo!  J. Lo!  J. Lo!  Ah, that feels good!) fancies herself the new Elizabeth Taylor, but the cat's eyes, a la Liz, just doesn't go with the rest of her face.  If she wanted to copy her style, why not just slap on a turban and be done with it?

And, now, in the spirit of being nice, I'll say I like her dress and shoes--if not the skeleton standing next to her.  Man, if anyone ever benefited from airbrushing, it's Marc Anthony--as those People pics clearly illustrate.

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Daily Offenders

Kathie Lee Gifford Doesn't Smell Like Teen Spirit  - Circus Hour

Johnny Depp Saves The Day! - Celebitchy

Victoria Beckham Helps Her 'Mum' Celebrate - A Socialite's Life

The Kardashians Take Their Famewhoring Ways To Larry King - Mollygood

Paris Takes A Fall - Dlisted

SNL Doesn't Want Ashlee Simpson Back - Hollywood Backwash

Gwen Stefani Blogs About Her All Her Boys - PopSugar

Madonna's Daughter Wants To Save Britney - I'm Not Obsessed

Anna Nicole Smith's Son's Death Ruled An Accident - Gabsmash

Jodie Foster: Doing It Right

We always hear about the horror stories of child actors.  There's certainly enough of them.  From the "Different Strokes" kids to Lindsay and Britney, it's always the same: early success leading to substance abuse problems and worse. 

Maybe that's why Jodie Foster is so refreshing.  She was the quintessential child star of the 1970's.  In tons of films from the time she was 10 and was an Oscar nominee for playing a teenage prostitute at 14.  She left Hollywood for awhile and went to Yale--graduating magma cum laude with a degree in literature.  Smart cookie. 

And then there was the whole John Hinckley, Jr. nightmare.  If having a wacko try to assassinate the president of the United States doesn't make you go crazy, I doubt anything will.  It's something Jodie still, to this day, rarely talks about.  Imagine other stars who would run to People or Vanity Fair to spill their guts about it.  Not Jodie.

So here she is--almost 40 years into her career and she's still going strong.  Not only that, but she's aging gracefully and naturally.  There's no pretense about this woman.  She doesn't talk about her private life, even though it's common knowledge she's been in a relationship with a woman, Cydney Bernard, for years.  She's a rarity in Hollywood and I cannot help but like her.  She seems like the kind of person you could have an intelligent conversation with about anything--and that's even rarer!

Her new movie, "Nim's Island," premiered last night.  Co-stars Gerard Butler (yum-mee) and Abigail Breslin--who, let's hope, learned a few things about growing up in front of the camera from Jodie.  You could do a lot worse for a role model.

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Reese Witherspoon Volunteers, Vacations

Brad and Angelina might not have been in New Orleans getting married this weekend, but Reese Witherspoon recently paid the city a visit, US Weekly is reporting. Not to marry gal-pal Jake Gyllenhaal (what? I'm just kidding.  Sort of.), but to take part in "Idol Gives Back," that totally schmaltzy special American Idol does every year that never fails to get me weepy.  Every year. 

For her part, Reese visited a Children's Defense Fund Freedom School where kids learn to become leaders in their community.  She's a board member for the CDF and was in NOLA in 2006 when the first of these schools opened.  Good for Reese.

In other news, Jakey may not have made the trip to Louisiana with her, but a trip was had recently.  Here's a couple photos of Reese, Jake and her kids coming back from Cabo San Lucas.  Looks like Reese got a sunburn on her chest.  I guess Jake draws the line on applying sunscreen there.  What?  Kidding again.  Kind of...

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Wolfgang Van Halen Says Eddie's Doing Great

Ever since Van Halen postponed their big reunion tour last month there have been tons of rumors as to what was the matter with Eddie.  The band would only say that EVH was "undergoing a battery of comprehensive medical tests."  Of course, first thing everyone thought was "uh-oh, he's back on drugs or booze," followed closely by worries that his mouth cancer, which he was treated for back in 2001, had returned.  Well, they're still not saying, but Eddie's son, Wolfgang, who also happens to be the band's bass player, told People magazine that his father is fine.

"Don't listen to the rumors – he's doing great – seriously! We're starting up in Reno in mid-April.  So it'll be fun."

April 17th, to be exact, per the band's website.  I tell you what: I am so tempted to try and get tickets.  I went to one of their shows in December and it was fan-freakin'-tastic.  You wouldn't think David Lee Roth could still do those high kicks, but you'd be surprised.  OK, they're not over his head anymore--wouldn't want to guy to throw out his hip--but they're still better than I could do and he's a helluva lot older than me.  Seriously, if you were a fan of the band back in the day, try and catch the show.  I promise you it's worth the ticket price.  And I expect the pot smell to be out of my hair any day now.

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Cameron Diaz Is A Wannabe

Cameron Diaz was awarded the "Wannabe" Award at the Kid's Choice Awards on Saturday.  Apparently, kids "wannabe" like Cam.  Really?  Why?  I just asked my nine-year-old niece and she took a pass.  I guess Princess Fiona just doesn't do it for her.  Then, again, she chose Miley Cyrus, so I'm not sure that's any better.

Regardless, Cameron was sporting her beach blonde bunny look.  I'm sure sure why, but I kind of like the dress.  The colors are very summery, but it's almost more beach cover-up than red--or orange--carpet.  The shoes, though...love the shoes.  It's the shoe whore in me.  I look to the feet first. 

Oh, one last thing.  Cam's really getting some heavy-duty crow's feet.  Is sunscreen against her religion?

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Hayden Panettiere Does Double Duty

She's just a busy little thing, isn't she?  Hayden Panettiere, who is currently shooting "I Love You, Beth Cooper" in Vancouver, was back in L.A. on Saturday to attend the Genesis Awards where she received  the Wyler Award.  The Genesis Awards are given by the Humane Society and acknowledge public figures who have drawn attention to animal abuse and exploitation.  As I mentioned last week, you don't want to mess with me when it comes to animals.  My empathetic gene in regard to people might be missing, but I can be reduced to a sobbing mess from that Sarah McLachlan ASPCA "Arms of an Angel" commercial.   True story.  So if you want to find out more about the  organization, visit their website.

Anyway, back to the cheerleader.  She was the recipient of this year's award for her work in bringing attention to Japan's cruel slaughter of dolphins and whales.  Which, again, I applaud her for.  What I cannot get behind is this dress.  It's OK, but it's a little mature for an 18-year-old--even an 18-year-old with a 31-year-old boyfriend.  And don't get me started on the old lady shoes.   She fared slightly better with her choice for the Kid's Choice Awards.  The red alone is a big improvement, and I love the back of the dress.  Plus, did she really need to change shoes?  The ones she wore to this event (which was first) were far, far superior. 

Oh, and I love (eye roll) her patented over-the-shoulder pose.  We get it, Hayden.  You're a little sex kitten-in-training. 

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