Hollywood Offender

Paris Says Benji is Helping With Theme Song

Paris Hilton says her rocker boyfriend Benji Madden is helping her create a theme song for her new reality TV series.

The 27-year-old heiress to the Hilton hotel empire said she and the Good Charlotte guitarist are working together to create a theme song for the upcoming MTV series, "My New BFF," People magazine said Friday.

"Benji and I have been working hard on it. He's helping me write the lyrics for the song and then I'll sing it, too."

The new reality series will feature Hilton attempting to choose a new friend from a group of 20 hopefuls, People said.

In addition to working with Madden on the series' theme song, Hilton said she is preparing a new album to follow her 2006 album, "Paris."

"I'll have another album come out, for sure," the former Simple Life star told E! News. "I just don't know when yet. I only have the summer off, then I'll be taping another season of 'BFF.' But an album is something I'll do."

Lindsay Not So Lucky For "Ugly Betty"

I totally forgot Lindsay was doing a guest appearance last week on "Ugly Betty" until it was already over.  Which appears to be a common theme: the ABC show didn't see a huge spike in the ratings with the stunt casting of Lilo as a mean girl.  Though the finale attracted 8.8 million viewers--which sounds like a lot to me--that was only 300,000 more than the prior week.  So, Lindz's appearance didn't even help up the audience by 5 per cent.  You'd think more people would tune in just to see if she could still deliver a line without having to look off-camera at a cue card.

Of course, television ratings have been down all season, in part because of the writer's strike.  However, Britney Spears' stunt casting on "How I Met Your Mother" gave that show a huge ratings boost.  Which, depending on how you look at it, could actually be hopeful news for Lilo.  She needs to spin it in her head as America not thinking there's as much potential for a disaster with her as there is with Brit Brit.  On the other hand, it is important to be the best at something, even if that is at being a trainwreck.

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Tori Spelling Moves Back Into The Zip Code

Just as I feared, Tori Spelling has officially wormed her way onto the "90210" spin-off.  A CW rep said Donna Martin is going to "own one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills," something Tori is obviously thrilled about (then, again, she's probably just flat-out thrilled she got a job):

"Donna loved designing and wanted a career in fashion. It’ll be fun to explore that storyline.  And, I’m sure fans will be dying to know if she’s still married to David!”

I hope she's not.  They should say David came out of the closet after Donna discovered he was having a cyber-affair with George Michael, after which he moved to London to start a Wham tribute band.  That might make me interested.  Otherwise, all this hype is doing is putting me to sleep.

Related:

Tori Spelling Confirms She's In Talks For "90210" Spin-Off

Tori Spelling To Join 90210 Spin-Off

Charlie Sheen Wants Denise Richards To Die

Three days in a row of Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen stories.  Check to see if the rivers are running red with blood and start saying your goodbyes to loved ones, as this has got to be one of the signs of the apocalypse. 

Denise is now shooting off her mouth to address the insults that Charlie threw at her yesterday--which were the result of her insulting him the day before.  Got that?  Yeah, I know, it's complicated.  Oh, tee hee, that's also the name of Denise's new reality show (premiering Memorial Day on E!; check your local listings...if you dare).  And doing it via Page Six?  Klassy!

"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold.  His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

"He missed Dad's day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?"

Are these two trying to make themselves the most annoyingly vile people in America?  Because they sure are doing a great job of it. 

Denise also claims, again, that she never asked Charlie for a sperm donation, saying:

"I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."

Is she calling his new fiancee a tranny or herself a prostitute?  I'm having a little trouble keeping track of the insults.  I may have to start a cheat sheet.

Charlie's rep just continues to address that Denise's contention of the spermy e-mail being faked is a big, fat lie.

"Denise seems to be denying the existence of [the] e-mail. This goes beyond a he-said-she-said. We have an offer from a [live] TV show. They will bring a computer expert to diagnose the e-mail and to verify it was sent by her e-mail address and to verify it was neither altered nor edited. Computer DNA - it is conclusive."

"CSI: Sheen" coming to a television near you.   

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Related:

Denise Richards' Latest Claims

Denise Richards And Charlie Sheen Continue To Fight

Oprah's Dieting Again

Here we go again.  In what has become a more regular event than the Oscars, Oprah has announced she's on yet another diet.  Oh, wait, I'm sorry--it's not a diet.  It's a 21-Day Detox Plan.  In other words, a diet.

And, as always, the reason for this diet--other than her milking at least a week's worth of shows about it--is that she read a book that inspired her.  Or, you know, her clothes didn't fit her anymore.  The book, Quantum Wellness, by Kathy Freston, uses a totally vegan menu and also bans caffeine, sugar, gluten, and alcohol.  Wow, fun. 

The Big O is also turning into Rosie O'Donnell, save the weird haikus, and blogging about her experience.

"This 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods – and what I'm willing to do to change.  Don't know if I'm going to feel better or worse, but I'm willing to try to see if my body at least feels differently."

You can read her blog and view the menu plans here.  By a quick glance, I might be able to handle it.  Until lunchtime.  On the first day.

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Katherine Heigl In Her Natural Environment

My sister thinks I'm too hard on Katherine Heigl.  She says she seems like a nice person and she just "loved that 27 Dresses."  Of course, my sister always sees the good in people.  She doesn't understand why anyone would put on an affectation for the cameras.  I mean, she even believes Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are a normal couple.  I think that says it all.

Still, it made me wonder: why can't I stand The Heigl?  And, honestly, it's no one thing.  If it was just that she shot off her mouth at every opportunity that wouldn't bother me.  And if she only seemed to stick to the paparazzi like fly paper?  Well, what celebrity doesn't?  And if she only was an annoying character on an obnoxious show?  There are a ton of those.

No, it's the combination of all those things, plus some inherent factor I can't put my finger on.  Katie looks like the girl who would be your biggest defender...right up to the point where she stabbed you in the back--all the while telling the media what a great person she was.

Having said that, she really should quit smoking for her own good.  It may keep her weight down, but she's going to be a leatherface in record time if she doesn't put down the cigarettes.  Which I'm thinking won't make her as in demand for the rom-com queen title she's aiming for.

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Related:

Katherine Heigl Is Never Going Away

Katherine Heigl: Barrels Of Fun

Denise Richards' Latest Claims

And so it continues with Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen.  Just yesterday Denise was whining on the "Today" show about how Charlie doctored an e-mail from her where she allegedly asked him to cough up (so to speak) some sperm so she could have another of his babies.  Now she's claiming the reason she's doing this total "look at me!" reality television show is because she needs the money.  Uh-huh.

Well, not according to Page Six.  Per a source:

"Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support.  Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can't?"

Huh.  I could "figure out" how to live on that for a year.  But, wait, there's more!  The source also claims Richards gets an additional $60,000 a month, again tax-free, in alimony for the next two years.  Not to mention she gets part of Charlie's "Two And A Half Men" money, which should end up netting her "up to $25 million."

Kind of makes those claims of poverty a moot point.  Not that this is surprising.  Look, Charlie Sheen is certainly no angel.  Matter of fact, he kind of skeeves me out.  And by "kind of" I mean totally.  But that doesn't mean Denise isn't a lying snake, only out for one person: Denise.

Having said that, you know the tell-all one of those kids writes in 20 years is going to be awesome.  I wonder if I can pre-order it now.

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Denise Richards And Charlie Sheen Continue To Fight

Denise Richards And Charlie Sheen Continue To Fight

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen continued their neverending battle of words today when Denise appeared on "Today" and claimed that Charlie faked an e-mail he claimed she sent him.  For anyone who doesn't remember (and I can't say I blame you), a quick recap: Charlie claimed, back in August 2007, that Denise had sent his girlfriend an e-mail claiming that she wanted him to donate sperm to her so she could have another child. 

Sounds straight out of a soap opera, right?  Well, Denise says it was the product of Charlie's imagination.

"That e-mail is not legitimate.  It's a doctored e-mail. I would never send an e-mail to his ... girlfriend, and, at the time of that e-mail, I was with Richie [Sambora]. If I wanted anybody's sperm, I'd have asked for Richie's."

Of course, Charlie didn't like being called a liar and issued the following statement, which "Today" read on the air.

"(Denise) claims that her e-mail has been fabricated or altered in any way to create this story are absurd. The mere fact the she continues to publicly discuss and harass both Brooke and me three years after our separation which, for the record is longer than the actual length of the marriage, is beyond desperate and speaks volumes."

It's interesting that Charlie claimed this eight months ago and Denise never bothered to claim it was fake until now.  Funny that she's also out pimping up her new reality show, "Denise Richards: It's Complicated."  I'm sure the two have nothing to do with each other, right?

Speaking of, have you seen the commercials for this show?  I think even I might have to draw the line on this one.  She's just so intent to prove that she's a good mommy and not at all a golddigger--all in front of the cameras.  Some people only want to live their life in front of the cameras.  Denise Richards is one of them.

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Related:

Charlie Sheen Totally Hates Denise Richards

Denise Richards Wants More Than Charlie Sheen's Money

Ali Lohan: Disgusted By Mean Girls

The countdown clock has begun for Ali Lohan's new reality show, "Living Lohan."  It premieres on Memorial Day (because, really, what's more patriotic than that?) and I'm sure everyone who watches E! for even five minutes a day has seen at least one commercial for it by now. 

But another countdown clock is also a-ticking.  That's the one that crowns entitled Ali as the new tabloid go-to girl--and probably lands her in some sort of trouble with the law.  After all, she wants to be like big sister, Lindsay, right?

So, because of this upcoming show, Ali is doing press to promote the show, herself, her mother and just how tough life is when you're on the brink of stardom (eye roll) and the mean, jealous haters try to get you down.  She tells People magazine:

"A little while ago ... a couple of girls in school made up a video of me and put it up on YouTube.  They used disgusting words. Like if my mom ever heard me say that stuff, I'd be grounded for life! ... They're disgusting kids. I got really aggravated."

Like, really?  Ali says the girls were suspended and she's now homeschooled.  By Dina?  Let's hope not, as that thought is horrifying.  But at least she's still doing the book learning (probably only because she's too young to totally drop out) and loves it:

"You learn so much more – it's just hard to focus when girls are giving you problems.  No one's talking about you behind your back. It's definitely easier."

And I'm sure she has tons of time for this schooling, now that she's a rising "star" (again, eye roll).  Having said that, I cannot wait for this show.  It's going to be bad on an epic scale.  Which is what will make it so good.

Related:

Livin' Large With Ali And Dina Lohan

Ali Lohan: Lindsay In Training

Lane Garrison Moved To Big Boys Prison

Lane Garrison's days behind bars keep seem to be getting worse.  According to E! News, the former "Prison Break" actor was moved from the medium-security facility (or, as I call it, prison) he was housed in to a medium/maximum security lock-up.  And I'm thinking that can't be good.

Now, supposedly Garrison, whose serving 40 month sentence for vehicular manslaughter, has been a model prisoner, even leading prayer groups and substance abuse meetings at Golden State Correctional Facility.  But, then, why move him to the California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility, which is adjacent to Corcoran State Prison?  That's the big question.  Per E!'s crackerjack source:

"Generally speaking, if you are in a medium security facility with 600 inmates, you don't get moved to a place that's high security with 6,000 guys.  Especially Corcoran—those are violent guys, mostly doing time for murder."

I'd say so--namely Sirhan Sirhan and everyone's favorite cult leader/psychopath, Charles Manson. 

Garrison's lawyer couldn't be reached for comment, but, to be fair, other non-violent prisoners have done their time at SATF, namely Robert Downey, Jr.  So, you know, maybe it's not as creepy and dire as it sounds.