Hollywood Offender

Someone Muzzle Kelly Preston

For reasons I can't figure out, someone at Extra (via OK! magazine) decided now would be a good time to interview Kelly Preston.  She has no movies about to come out, she's got nothing going on...hey, I get it, must've been a slow news day, but still--couldn't they find anyone else?  No?  OK, then.

So what exactly did Mrs. John Travolta have to say?  Well, lots--as per usual.  She's always very eager to talk about her totally heterosexual husband and her smoking hot marriage and her fantastic kids (well, at least her daughter; she sort of glosses over son, Jett).  Because, like all her fellow Scientologists, life is perfect. 

On keeping the family together away from L.A.:

"We don't really live in L.A..  We live in Florida. We've got our kids, do a lot of very normal things there. We ride golf carts, swim, rollerblade...We try to keep the family together as much as humanly possible."

As to whether there's any competition between her and her Johnny, she says absolutely not!

"There's no competition at all. I'm married one of the biggest movie stars in the world. To even think about that would be silly. I'm so proud of him. He's the greatest."

She was one "amazing" shy of channeling Katie Holmes.  Eerie, isn't it?  All the Scientology brides sound exactly the same.  It's almost as if they were programmed.  But, nah, THAT couldn't be it.

Speaking of Tom Cruise (well, sort of, since Katie is only an extension of Tommy), Kelly, naturally, had to put her two cents in about Maverick's three-year-old Oprah couch-jumping incident.

"To be honest, I felt sad that I live in a society where we can't show pure joy if you're excited. He's passionate, so he showed some unbridled emotion. Good for him. It was just spun out of control."

Oh, good god, shut up!  You know what I feel is sad?  That any criticism of little Tommy brings out a rabid pack of fellow Scientologists, bearing their teeth and ready to attack anyone who messes with one of their own--even if it's because one of their own is just plain nuts. 

More of this scintillating interview airs tonight on Extra.  I suppose if you really have nothing else to do, up to and including alphabetizing your pantry, it might be a great way to kill off a few brain cells.

Photo Source

Related:

Kelly Preston: Where's John?

Matt Lauer To Tom Cruise: "All Is Forgiven"

Matt Lauer's weighing in on Tom Cruise's recent quasi-mea culpa on Oprah's show--specifically in regard to his Today show rant when he went off on Matt.  Per the host, it's all good.  I do love, though, that he makes it clear he didn't actually sit down and watch the Telluride dreck.

"I was traveling.  I didn't see the interview. Somebody told me a little bit."

Translation: "Why would I lower myself to watch that blowhard rewrite history?"

Then he added that Tommy is welcome to come back.

"I don't feel there are any hard feelings.  It was an interview. It was a good moment on television."

"The doors are open.  I hope he comes back and sees me real soon."

In other words, Matt's seeing ratings gold in his future.  He shouldn't be so sure.  Oprah's ratings for the two-part Tom lovefest?  Not so good.  Even Barbara Walters' dish on her dirty deeds from thirty years ago did better.

Oh, and in case anyone has forgotten the infamous "you're glib, Matt, you're glib" interview?  Let's revisit, shall we?

Related:

Tom Cruise On Oprah: His Amazing, Yet Misunderstood, Life

Tom Cruise on Oprah: His Amazing, Yet "Misunderstood" Life

As I sat down to watch part one of the two-part special Tom Cruise extravaganza on Oprah, I thought: "Will this be worth it?  Is there anything this man can do to win me back?"  It felt like a lot of pressure.  And then I remembered I never liked the guy and the pressure was off and I was free to just, er...enjoy myself?

Would that I could, but, man, that was really one excruciatingly long hour of Tense Tom looking like this whole mea culpa was all a giant waste of his time but he was doing it to "set the record straight" and tell us how everything we see about him on the Internet is "taken out of context" and how he sometimes feels "under siege" but it's the "price that he pays" for being the amazing Tom.  Really, those were the main talking points; you just need to insert which of his many, many image problems goes with each point.  In no particular order: Scientology, couch-jumping, Matt Lauer-attacking, Suri, and the amazing Katie Holmes.

More after the jump...

Katie Holmes Goes To Boot Camp

Uh-huh.  According to Star magazine Katie Holmes has been a bad, bad robot and was sent to Scientology "Boot Camp" so she could get back in ethics.  Or on ethics.  On top of ethics?  Eh, it's something about ethics--at least that's what Tommy was talking about in that promotional Scieno video that still gives me nightmares to this day.  Anyway, per the tabloid, Katie was sent to Gold Base, the secret Scientology compound in Hemet, California, for an intense 3-day course to get her back up to working speed.  Per a source:

"It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes.  Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels."

The reason Tommy ordered thought this would be just the ticket for his employee loving wife was because the future ex-Mrs. Cruise was getting a little too mouthy--suggesting such things like going to NYC without Tom to appear in a Broadway show (by the way, there has yet to be any confirmation she's even been offered this part).  Tommy said no way, and, voila--boot camp it is!

Per the source, these auditing sessions can last up to 36 hours straight, with the person being audited getting little sleep or food.  Which, for Katie, translates to your average Tuesday evening through Thursday morning, just without a shopping trip to Barney's crammed in between.

Photo Source

Related:

Tom Cruise To Victoria Beckham: Stay Away From My Robot!

Katie Holmes: Woman On The Verge

Katie Holmes: It Only Hurts When She Smiles

Tom Cruise Has All The Answers

Tom Cruise And Oprah: Together Again

Doesn't Oprah look like if she doesn't laugh she'll start to scream and cry thus insuring Tom will drag her back into his Chamber of Horrors and E-Meters and put her in the cell Katie inhabits when she misbehaves?  Yeah, I'd smile too, O.

So, this promotional shot (promotional photo, cry for help--potato, pahtato) was released by Harpo Productions to warn us all that we're down to t-minus three days until the big Tom interview.  The Huffington Post even has a promo video up.  I particularly like how Tommy and his future ex-wife come bounding out of the house, hand in hand, smiling like they haven't a care in the world and this whole thing isn't one giant damage control stunt...and then they continue to hold hands as they group hug TBO!  It's the most unnatural posture I've ever seen.  Well, if you don't count the numerous PDAs the Cruises have foisted upon all of us.

But, I'll woman up and confess: I'll be watching.  I've already admitted I can't look away from a trainwreck...or trying to undo a 3-year-old trainwreck, as Tommy's obviously attempting.  Can he pull it off?  Can he stay cool and calm when talking about Scientology?  Will Oprah literally kiss his butt or is she just happy to do it figuratively?  I really can't wait to find out.

Oh, and Oprah interviewed Cher this weekend and the gay pop icon told TBO about her "passionate" affair with a then 23-year-old Tommy Cruise - because loving Cher is something only straight men do.

Photo Source

Related:

Tom Cruise Begs You To Love Him Again

Tom Cruise On Oprah: It's Worse Than I Thought

Couch-Gate 2008: Tom Cruise To Return To Oprah

Tom Cruise Begs You To Love Him Again

Tom Cruise actually remembered he had two other children besides Golden Suri and trotted out Isabella and Connor to watch David Beckham and the L.A. Galaxy play on Saturday night.  Don't you just love the super-intense look Tommy is giving, as he no doubt watches Becks run up and down the field?  You can almost picture Tommy's thought bubble: "Sweaty pecs, glistening skin, powerful thighs...Oh, David!"

In other words, the usual Saturday night dream, this time in 3D.  No wonder Katie decided to stay home and wonder where it all went wrong.

By the way, I love how Tom is trying to dress like Becks now.  It's cute in that same way that 14-year-old girls dress like each other. The only problem is on Becks the slightly bookish/nerdy look somehow becomes hot, whereas on Tom it looks like he's auditioning for "Mr. Rogers: The Movie."  It's sad, yet oh-so-hilarious!

As to Tommy's upcoming Oprah 2-day extravaganza?  Well, the portion that takes place at Cruise's Telluride Chamber of Secrets and Lies mansion has already been taped.  The Big O revealed that she asks Tommy "tough" questions about his Matt Lauer freak-out, Scientology, and when he jumped the couch during his last visit, but don't count on this equating to putting the screws to him - she's also revealed he took her on a snowmobile ride and that, naturally, Zombie-Kate and PR Princess Suri were present for the interview.  I'm sure had TBO asked anything hard-hitting, Suri would've been cued to ask "why you mean to my Daddy?"

In other news, a 90-minute radio interview with former Scientologist Marc Headley, hit the Internet on Friday.  Headley worked with Golden Air Productions, a Scieno-media production company, and tells a few disturbing tales about the religion's leader, David Miscavige. 

Some of the highlights:

• David Miscavige's physical abuses of fellow Scientologists
• The slave wages Scientologists earn
• Tom Cruise left Scientology for almost ten years during the nineties and how Miscavige lured him back in
• The Scientology "dating service" Tommy was provided and why Katie Holmes was deemed "the one."
• How the "new Tom Cruise" is a "carbon copy of David Miscavige."

You can listen to the interview here and trust me, you won't be disappointed.  In one sense, it makes me feel very sorry for anyone who gets suckered into this organization, however, someone like Tom Cruise, who has the world at his feet without this insane cult?  No sympathy whatsoever.

   

Photo Source

Related:

Tom Cruise's Birthday Bash

Is Tom Cruise Just Misunderstood?

Tom Cruise Has All The Answers

Daily Offenders

Heidi And Spencer Just Say No To The White House - Just Jared

David Duchovny Thinks Scientology Is Good For A Laugh - Agent Bedhead

Brad Pitt And Sean Penn Don't Like Each Other - Celebitchy

Another Unjust Elimination On "American Idol" - Mollygood

Benji Madden's Bandmates Hate Paris - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Kelly Clarkson Likes To Be Naked - IDLYITW

Denise Richards' Reality Is A Pot Belly - TMZ

Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Like Toast - Daily Stab

Suri Cruise's Snoozin' Birthday Party

Katie to Tom: "You do realize this constitutes a public outing and I expect to be compensated, right?"

So Suri Cruise had her official second birthday party on Friday.  Let's just call it her second.  Could be the sixth month anniversary of that special day, but let's not quibble with the particulars--point was, it was par-tay time at the Cruises.  OK, not so much at the Cruises, as they're still living at the Celebrity Centre because their $30 million mansion, that they bought a year ago, is STILL be renovated.  What's taking so long, you ask? Perhaps that Tom wants it to have all the warmth and charm of an All-Boys English boarding school?  Guess who gets to play Headmaster?

But, I digress.  The party yesterday was held at a Hollywood Hills retreat believed to be owned, naturally, by the Church of Scientology.  Because nothing says fun and good times like a houseful of e-meters.  The party was attended by...well, not much of anyone.  Katie's parents were summoned out for the day and Tom's mommy and sister were of course present (when aren't they?).  Isabella and Connor Cruise were also allowed out to help their little sister celebrate her day.  Other than that--nada.  No Beckhams, no Smiths, no Brooke Shields.  Not a whole lot happening, either--just lots of milling around.  But lots of balloons!  Better for the roving helicopters full of paparazzi to find them, right?  Because right after first rule of fight club is we never talk about fight club is that it's not an official celebration for Tommy if it's not captured on film and reported with breathless wonder through the pages of People magazine.

Photo Source

Related:

Happy Second Birthday, Suri Cruise

Cruise's New Home: Straight Out Of Dynasty

Tomkat House Watch

Tom Cruise To Victoria Beckham: Stay Away From My Robot!

Tommy Cruise isn't happy.  And you know what happens when Tommy Cruise isn't happy?  People DIE!  OK, not really--but you don't want to ever upset His Royal Scienotologist's apple cart, as that puts him in a nasty mood.  The latest person to do this is Victoria Beckham--or, more precisely, her friendship with his future ex-wife, Katie Holmes.  Apparently, Tommy's unhappy that his Stepford Wife is dropping too much weight in her effort to emulate Posh.  Per a source:

"Katie sees Victoria as a role model.  She copies Victoria's look and even cut her hair the same way.  She is very thin largely because she is following Victoria's strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria's fad of eating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is tiny."

Seaweed shakes?  Maybe that's why Kate's been looking so sickly lately.  It's a cry for kelp!  Thank you, I'm here all week.

But, seriously, I think the problem is less about how the wife-like unit looks and more about the Beckhams not wanting to join Scientology.  Because anyone who doesn't cave to Tommy's hard sell of L. Ron's teachings always seems to get excised from his life.  Remember when Tom was BFFs with Jamie Foxx?  Kanye West?  Steven Spielberg?  Where have all those friendships gone?  Right into his old "they won't give the 'Church' half their salary so I'm gonna pick up my toys and find a new friend" dumpster, that's where.

Having said that, Tommy hates bad publicity (though, lord, you'd think he'd be used to it by now) so look for a Katie/Posh lunch date coming soon to a photo agency near you.

Photo Source

Related:

Katie Holmes: Woman On The Verge

Katie Holmes: Boring Poshabee

Victoria Beckham: Fashion Before Comfort

Tom Cruise Wants Becks To Come Out And Play

Tom Cruise Wants To Be Posh

Victoria Beckham: Scientology Spice

Kelly Preston: Where's John?

Have you noticed that when John Travolta doesn't have a movie to promote you rarely see him with his wife?  I mean, a movie premiere, an awards show, or, most importantly, a super Scientology event and they're stuck like glue to each other--with Kelly repeating her "I think we're going to start trying to have another baby next month" speech on endless loop and JT's hair looking scarier and scarier by the second (one day soon I predict it the spray on follicles will start running down his face mid-interview).  It's been, what?  A couple years that Scientology's Queen Mother has talked about getting knocked up again by her extremely heterosexual husband?  Homegirl's about 46 now.   Tick tock, that's all I'm saying.  I mean there's only so long that particular story, told to illustrate said husband's sexual desire for the female of the species, is going to last.

Anyway, Kelly hit the red carpet solo last night for the premiere of Lifetime Television's "The Memory Keeper's Daughter."  Loved the book--let's see if it translates to the screen.  I have my doubts, but of course I'll watch. 

As to what Kelly was wearing?  Well...the dress is OK, though the way the jersey material is draped across her torso makes it look like it doesn't fit right.  That's the least of her problems, though, because those shoes scare me.  Patent leather?  Good.  Mary Janes?  Even better.  But with a big, thick, rubbery-looking tan heel?  Is she blind?  Stoned?  Planning on going for a hike immediately after the shindig?  Because those would be the only reasons that might be an acceptable excuse for those heels.  And even those I'd find troubling.

The face still looks good, though.  Save for the glazed over, dead eyes that are mandatory for followers of her religion, she's holding up well--without resorting to any sort of scary plastic surgery.

Photo Source

Related:

John Travolta: Chia Pet Hits Miami

John Travolta: Chia Pet At The Oscars

The Travoltas Keep On Keepin' On

John Travolta And Kelly Preston: Surprisingly Life-Like

John Travolta Wants Another Baby