Hollywood Offender

Someone Muzzle Kelly Preston

For reasons I can't figure out, someone at Extra (via OK! magazine) decided now would be a good time to interview Kelly Preston.  She has no movies about to come out, she's got nothing going on...hey, I get it, must've been a slow news day, but still--couldn't they find anyone else?  No?  OK, then.

So what exactly did Mrs. John Travolta have to say?  Well, lots--as per usual.  She's always very eager to talk about her totally heterosexual husband and her smoking hot marriage and her fantastic kids (well, at least her daughter; she sort of glosses over son, Jett).  Because, like all her fellow Scientologists, life is perfect. 

On keeping the family together away from L.A.:

"We don't really live in L.A..  We live in Florida. We've got our kids, do a lot of very normal things there. We ride golf carts, swim, rollerblade...We try to keep the family together as much as humanly possible."

As to whether there's any competition between her and her Johnny, she says absolutely not!

"There's no competition at all. I'm married one of the biggest movie stars in the world. To even think about that would be silly. I'm so proud of him. He's the greatest."

She was one "amazing" shy of channeling Katie Holmes.  Eerie, isn't it?  All the Scientology brides sound exactly the same.  It's almost as if they were programmed.  But, nah, THAT couldn't be it.

Speaking of Tom Cruise (well, sort of, since Katie is only an extension of Tommy), Kelly, naturally, had to put her two cents in about Maverick's three-year-old Oprah couch-jumping incident.

"To be honest, I felt sad that I live in a society where we can't show pure joy if you're excited. He's passionate, so he showed some unbridled emotion. Good for him. It was just spun out of control."

Oh, good god, shut up!  You know what I feel is sad?  That any criticism of little Tommy brings out a rabid pack of fellow Scientologists, bearing their teeth and ready to attack anyone who messes with one of their own--even if it's because one of their own is just plain nuts. 

More of this scintillating interview airs tonight on Extra.  I suppose if you really have nothing else to do, up to and including alphabetizing your pantry, it might be a great way to kill off a few brain cells.

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Related:

Kelly Preston: Where's John?

John Travolta: Song Bird

Man, there's nothing like a good musical to bring out the girl in all of us, right?  And that includes John Travolta who just loves, loves, luh-ves Broadway's "The Little Mermaid."  He recently took his eight-year-old daughter, Ella, to see it, sitting in the front row and singing along to all the tunes, Page Six reports. On the plus side, he didn't bound up on stage and join in.  On the negative side, I'm sure he's got an Ariel costume hanging in his closet that he takes out and wears on special occasions.  Like Mondays.

When the show ended, he took the Golden Child (as opposed to his sixteen-year-old son, Jett, who we never, ever see) and her twenty-six friends backstage for photos with the cast.  That's when he really started to get into the whole experience:

"He was touching all the costumes, he looked amazed.  He said he was way, way into the show. He stayed backstage for a while."

I can imagine.  I bet John wishes his life was one big musical number after the next.  He should really look into doing a show on Broadway.  I'm thinking maybe one about the life of Liberace.  He'd be fabulous in all those pretty, pretty costumes with the jewels and the feathers.  It's a part he was born to play.

And I guess this answers the question I asked yesterday as to where JT is when wife Kelly is off appearing at the opening of everything and anything, up to and including an envelope.  She's in LA and he's in New York.  Which is really going to make conceiving that much desired (at least to hear Kelly tell it) third child difficult. 

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Related:

Kelly Preston: Where's John?

John Travolta Needs Muzzling

John Travolta Is Creepy And He's Kooky

John Travolta And The Extra Large Ego

Kelly Preston: Where's John?

Have you noticed that when John Travolta doesn't have a movie to promote you rarely see him with his wife?  I mean, a movie premiere, an awards show, or, most importantly, a super Scientology event and they're stuck like glue to each other--with Kelly repeating her "I think we're going to start trying to have another baby next month" speech on endless loop and JT's hair looking scarier and scarier by the second (one day soon I predict it the spray on follicles will start running down his face mid-interview).  It's been, what?  A couple years that Scientology's Queen Mother has talked about getting knocked up again by her extremely heterosexual husband?  Homegirl's about 46 now.   Tick tock, that's all I'm saying.  I mean there's only so long that particular story, told to illustrate said husband's sexual desire for the female of the species, is going to last.

Anyway, Kelly hit the red carpet solo last night for the premiere of Lifetime Television's "The Memory Keeper's Daughter."  Loved the book--let's see if it translates to the screen.  I have my doubts, but of course I'll watch. 

As to what Kelly was wearing?  Well...the dress is OK, though the way the jersey material is draped across her torso makes it look like it doesn't fit right.  That's the least of her problems, though, because those shoes scare me.  Patent leather?  Good.  Mary Janes?  Even better.  But with a big, thick, rubbery-looking tan heel?  Is she blind?  Stoned?  Planning on going for a hike immediately after the shindig?  Because those would be the only reasons that might be an acceptable excuse for those heels.  And even those I'd find troubling.

The face still looks good, though.  Save for the glazed over, dead eyes that are mandatory for followers of her religion, she's holding up well--without resorting to any sort of scary plastic surgery.

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Related:

John Travolta: Chia Pet Hits Miami

John Travolta: Chia Pet At The Oscars

The Travoltas Keep On Keepin' On

John Travolta And Kelly Preston: Surprisingly Life-Like

John Travolta Wants Another Baby

John Travolta: Chia Pet Hits Miami

I guess John Travolta has permanently traded in his hilariously bad weave (you know, the one where you could actually see the threads at his hairline) for the more manageable, albeit no less ridiculous, short spray-on look.  Sigh...it really does look like a fuzzy helmet of mold--like one might find on a peach.

Here's JT and his faithful beard, Kelly Peston, at a reception for the Sunscreen Film Festival in St. Petersburg, Florida.  I wonder if afterwards, John heads for the beach looking for hot young things in sexy Speedos.  I bet for the right price they love Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Oh, and did you hear how Jeff Conaway is now saying that old "Grease" pal Johnny helped Kenickie kick drugs by getting him into Scientology?  Another "celebrity" recruit for John?  That's got to be worth a free e-meter session and complimentary breakfast at the Celebrity Centre.

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John Travolta: Chia Pet At The Oscars

Remember when John Travolta was hot?  Before the Scienos got a hold of him and made him put his gay in a fireproof lockbox, before the marriage to fellow Scieno, Kelly Preston, before the truly, truly frightening spray-on hair, he WAS hot.  And kind of sweet. 

I mourn that John.  Because now look what we're left with: a man who played a woman and looked more natural in that role than he looks walking the carpet with his wonderful wife.  Who, let me just say, only looks good when compared to her animal print Peg Bundy dress of last year.  Yes, she set the bar THAT low.  And what's with the bad hair?  Did she not have time after helping John paint on his?

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Daily Offenders

Guess The Chest. Hint: This Is Probably More Than Her Husband's Seen - Hollywood Backwash

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Brad Pitt: Chaos Maker -  A Socialite's Life

Lindsay Lohan's Desperate Times - Mollygood

Hayden Panettiere Hawks a Handbag - I'm Not Obsessed

Pam Anderson Files For Divorce...Then Changes Her Mind - The Superficial

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I Think They're Weird, Too, Suri - Dlisted

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Knut Turns One - Ayyyy!

Nic Cage vs. John Travolta: Weave Wars - TMZ

Daily Offenders

John Travolta's At It Again - Ayyyy!

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Amy Winehouse's Downward Spiral Continues - Mollygood

Lindsay Lohan's Surprising Good Influence - Pop On The Pop

The Travoltas Keep On Keepin' On

There are certain things in this world you can count on: taxes, Leo DiCaprio dating a model, and the Travoltas putting up a united "dear sweet L. Ron, we are sooo happy" front.  As they've been doing for the last decade, here's JT and his Stepford wife, Kelly Preston, at the Hollywood Film Festival Hollywood Awards last night.

The picture of matrimonial bliss, aren't they?  Even with all the whispers of slap and tickle sessions with manly masseuses--by him, I mean--they stay strong.  So strong that Kelly, bless her Scieno heart, was claiming, just a few months ago and to all who would listen, that they'd be getting busy with working on having another child.  Of course, I don't know if JT signed off on that particular chore--he seems to have a full plate making a string of crappy movies (I mean "Wild Hogs?"  Please, Barbarino) and those hair pieces he's so fond of cost money, ya know.  Not that it matters--it's all about appearances.  I'm sure Kelly, at 60, will still be talking about their alleged white-hot sex life.  After all, that is what she gets paid for.

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John Travolta and Kelly Preston: Surprisingly Life-Like

John Travolta accompanied his beard wife, Kelly Preston, to the premiere of her latest movie, "Death Sentence."  It looks like he may have finally gotten a better rug, as I don't see the embarrassing mesh peaking through.  Good wig-makers are hard to find, I guess, even when you are an Operating Thetan.

Anyway, about this movie: I caught the trailer for it a few weeks ago when I went to see "The Bourne Ultimatum."  The only thing I took away from it, save for the fact Kevin Bacon is looking more and more skeletal with each passing second, is that it looks dreadful.  A guy goes after the gang members that killed his son--how utterly original.  Kelly, I'm guessing, plays Bacon's wife.  Right up her alley--playing a wife, that is.  After all, that's been the longest running role of her career and she's still playing it for all it's worth.  Katie Holmes should take lessons.  Really.

So, in last week's People Kelly was again going on and on about how she wants to get pregnant.  Like for paragraphs: talking about how she thought she'd be with Travolta Spawn 3.0 several years ago but then her all-important work schedule got in the way, however now she's ready, willing and able to sex it up with her totally hetero and not at all gay hubby and get knocked up.  How unsurprising that she started talking more and more about this right after those photos of old JT smooching some dude were published.  I'm sure that's a total coincidence, though.  I mean, what else could it possibly be?

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