Hollywood Offender

The Return Of Violet Affleck

She's baaaccckkkk!  After a few months of laying low, Violet Affleck was spotted trying to flee from her mother, Jennifer Garner.  OK, not really, but she must be relieved the weather is warmer.  The last twenty times we saw this kid she was adorned in a variety of winter hats that would get her beat up in school in a few years.  She's gotta be biding her time until she's old enough to pick out her own wardrobe. 

So here's the two up in Boston where Jen's shooting her next film.  No word on if Ben Affleck's in town.  There have been lots of rumors in the past several months that all is not well in the Gaffleck marriage, mostly because they haven't been seen together much, if at all.  Flimsy evidence?  Perhaps.  But where there's smoke, especially in Hollywood marriages, there's usually at least a flicker of truth.

Photo Source

Related:

Violet Affleck: The Natural

Best Mother/Daughter Duo: Jen Garner And Violet Affleck

Violet Affleck: Oh, The Indignities

Jimmy Kimmel's Revenge: He's Effing Ben Affleck

Telling girlfriend Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon that "this is for you," Jimmy Kimmel got his revenge on the two for their "I'm Effing Matt Damon" video last month.  How'd he do that?  Why, by effing Ben Affleck, of course. He also upped the ante with many guests helping him celebrate his new relationship, including Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Harrison Ford, and Brad Pitt.  You've gotta love a guy who takes it that extra mile.  Watch and enjoy!

Violet Affleck: The Natural

I know a lot of people give Jennifer Garner shit about dressing schlubby and hauling Violet around all over creation and not being called an attention whore.  And by a lot of people I mean me.  But, I have to say--schlubby or not, at least Violet Affleck looks like a kid and not some Abercrombie & Finch model for their "Springtime Fun" collection (see: Cruise, Suri).  I mean, look at kid: she could be anybody's kid.  She probably even gets dirty and pitches a fit now and then and isn't the perfect child.

Hey, if you're going to use your kid as an accessory, at least let her have fun with it.  Mission accomplished.

Photo Source

Violet Affleck: Oh, The Indignities

Violet:  "When are we going back to L.A. so I can stop wearing these ridiculous hats?"

Jen: "No!  You don't  like your hat?  I picked it out special for you.  My Violet-Wiolet wooks so cutey-wootey as a wittle doggie."

Violet: "Not the baby talk again.  I thought we agreed that wasn't necessary anymore."

Jen: "My Wi-Vi no wanty Mommy to talky-talky this way?"

Violet: "Am I not speaking clearly?  I'm sorry, it's a little hard to enunciate when your air supply is being cut off by the parka of doom."

Jen:  "It's coldy woldy, my sweetie-petey.  You wouldn't want to get the sniffle-wiffles, would you?"

Violet:  "Where's Dad?  Maybe he can get through to you."

Jen:  "Daddy Waddy wuvs his wittle Violet."

Violet: "Can't you just ignore me for 10 minutes?  It works out beautifully for Katie and Suri."

Jen:  "Silly willy."

Violet: "God help me."

Photo Source

Jennifer Garner Brings The House Down

I have to admit I was very doubtful that Jennifer Garner would actually be able to hold her own against Kevin Kline in her Broadway debut in "Cyrano de Bergerac."  Nothing against Jen, but running around on Alias in wigs and miniskirts does not an actress make.  However, apparently I was wrong--at least according to the critics who reviewed her on opening night.  The New York Times' Ben Brantley called her performance "captivating." 

Honestly, that is not a word I would have ever associated with Garner.  Which isn't to say I think she's a dreadful actress, she's just meh.  And meh is rarely captivating.  Meh will pick up the kids from school for you when you have a nail appointment and meh will bring cupcakes to the school bake sale, but captivating meh is not.  But, at least in this role, Jen is captivating.  So good for her!  Violet's mommy done good.

Source  Photo Source

Daily Links: Friday Offenders

Peek-A-Boo, Uma Thurman - The Superficial

Vanessa Hudgens: Probably No Regrets - Agent Bedhead

Ben Affleck's A Frugal Guy - Ayyyy!

Brangelina Gets Unsolicited Parenting Advise - A Socialite's Life

Oprah Talks About Her Weight. Yes, Again - Mollygood

Lindsay Should Be Shopping For Bras - DListed

Jennifer Connelly Gives New Meaning To The Word Fug - Holy Candy

"Brokeback Mountain 2?" Why? - Celebitchy

In Case You Missed 'Em - Celebrity Smack!

The Family Affleck's NYC Autumn

After weeks of being all over the map promoting "The Kingdom" (Jen) and "Gone, Baby, Gone," (Ben) the Afflecks are now ensconced in NYC as Jen prepares for her stage appearance in "Cyrano."  The show began preview performances this past weekend and Jen was all smiles when leaving the theater.  And why shouldn't she be?  Ben's on diaper duty, and really, who wouldn't want to get a break from that? 

As to "Gone, Baby, Gone," it opens this Friday and is getting some good early reviews.  It's sitting at 88% on Rotten Tomatoes, with both The Hollywood Reporter and Variety praising Affleck's directorial debut.  Given how much he has riding on this film--as in, his career--that's got to be a bit of a relief, even if it's still too soon to tell.  Regardless, there's always a future as a manny.

Source  Source

Daily Links: Tuesday Offenders

Posh Does Alien Chic - Hollywood Rag

Hey, Jude! - Agent Bedhead

Oh Hell No - Ayyyy!

Queen Latina - Gabsmash

Punky Brewster Is A Greenie - Celebitchy

Super Plastic Wife - Celebrity Smack!

Tracy Morgan Is A Punk Ass Bitch - ICYDK

Halle Berry Is Bursting With Baby Joy - Hollywood Tuna

Good Luck, Ben Affleck - The Evil Beet

Britney Wants To Make Appletinis - Celebrity Nation

Ben Affleck Blames Jennifer Lopez For His Failures

Ok, that's a slight exaggeration--though, personally, I could totally get behind it, as I blame her for killing my Affleck love.  I mean, she destroyed it.  I can still remember my "he's dead to me" speech I would haul out anytime anyone mentioned his name.  I know, I'm pathetic.

Regardless, Ben's got a movie to pimp--his directorial debut, "Gone, Baby, Gone"--so he's opening up to Details magazine about anything and everything, including the great pit of suck that his career became when he was romancin' Jenny from the Block:

"It was probably bad for my career. What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody. I ended up in an unfortunate crosshair position where I was in a relationship and [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines. And I paid a certain price for that. Then, in concert with some movies that didn’t work…”

Ugh, like "Gigli."  Who thought that was a good idea?  I hope the person who greenlit that got their ass fired.  But, I'll say this about Ben: I think he has a good sense of humor and realistic outlook on his career.  In regard to what's on the line with this new movie:

“It’s pretty simple. If people don’t go see it – I’m f—ked.”

Yeah, that about sums it up.  Is it wrong I've done a total 180 on him, that he's no longer deadtome and that I want this movie to succeed?

Source  Photo Source

Ben Affleck Is A Nice Guy

Back in the day I used to love Ben Affleck.  I didn't care that he made goofy movies like "Armageddon" and that his acting wasn't always the best--there was just something about him I liked.  And he was da bomb in Phantoms...

Then came "Bennifer."  That two-headed beast that not only started the trend of naming celebrity couples (we have Ben Affleck to blame for "Tomkat," people; totally his fault) but turned the once laid-back Boston guy into an Armani-wearing, famewhore-grabbin,' shell of his former self. 

And need I mention "Gigli?"

Still, even after he dumped her much talked about ass, it was hard to just forget the horror he had inflicted on the masses for the couple years they were a couple.  Sure, he poked fun at himself on "Saturday Night Live" and married a "nice" Jennifer, but still, he was meh to me.

But, now, I think he's won me back.  Call it the kid factor.  First, he sires baby Violet--who may not be the cutest celebrity baby, but sure appears to be the happiest--and then he hightails it to Washington D.C. to speak at the high school graduation of Joe Kindregan, a disabled kid he met while making "Forces of Nature" back in 1998.  He's not only kept that friendship up, but done a lot of work for the disease (ataxia-telangiectasia) that Kindregan has.  And that sense of humor of his is still intact.

In his commencement speech, he told the students:

“I haven’t been in space, I’m not a politician, I’m not a super hero – I’m not even a gangster. I’ve only pretended to be all of those – in some cases just barely.”

Just when I thought I was out, he's pulled me back in.

Source: Just Jared