Hollywood Offender

Iron Man: Best. Movie. Ever.

Remember last week when I was whining over the fact that I didn't get to see "Iron Man" because I couldn't find anyone to go with me?  Well, thank Jeebus you wont have to read my sniveling drivel and jealous tirades any longer because I was escorted by a great guy to see it.  I know you want to know if it was worth the whining, the jealousy and the hype, so my review is as follows:

"Best. Movie. Ever." 

"Iron Man" managed to finish at No. 1 for the second straight week with an estimated $50.5 million in box office sales, grossing an estimated $177.3 million in its first two weekends.

Two major new releases - "Speed Racer" and "What Happens in Vegas" - battled it out for second place, with "Speed Racer" {which got a lot of poor reviews} bringing in an estimated $20.2 million, while "What Happens in Vegas" {starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher}, took in an estimated $20 million, debuting at No. 3.

Two other romantic comedies rounded out the top five - "Made of Honor" managed to rake in $7.6 million and "Baby Mama" brought in $5.7 million.

Rounding out the top 10:

• "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" {$3.7 million}
• "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" {$3.5 million}
• "The Forbidden Kingdom" {$1.9 million}
• "Nim's Island {$1.3 million}
• "Redbelt" {$1.1 million}.

Ashton Kutcher: Let The Good Times Roll

I do find it the height of hilarity that Ashton Kutcher has based his whole career on the fact that he's this funny guy, always there with a joke or to punk someone...and then when he's not in a studio or with a script in hand he looks like the most humorless gas bag in the universe.  With bad fashion sense (are those shoes "Kaballah red?").  And a wax figure for a wife. 

I mean, you'd think the guy might just be a wee bit grateful for getting a career out of basically nothing.  Let's face it: his acting reeks.  He lucked into the Punk'd thing because who doesn't like to see celebrities embarrassed and that led to more producing gigs.  So, be happy for god's sake.  Enough with the "I'm so above you all" looks.  Enough with the "I'm so cool because I'm not" clothing.  And, for sure, enough with the awful, beard-like growth on his face.  It looks like he's going to be playing the Wolfman in a junior high play. 

As much as I like Cameron Diaz, I really hope "What Happens In Vegas" doesn't do well.  Kutcher needs to be knocked down a few dozen pegs and just get over himself.  I know--it'll be a hit, but I can hope, can't I?

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Related:

Ashton Kutcher Covers Details

They Scare Me

Cameron Diaz Gets Back To Work

Following the sudden death of her father two weeks ago, Cameron Diaz made her first public appearance last night at the L.A. premiere of her new film, "What Happens In Vegas."  And, no, that's not some random radio contest winner from Backwater, Idaho standing next to her--it's Ashton Kutcher, the film's co-star.  Loved the checkered sports jacket and polka-dotted tie.  Almost as much as I love the Chia Pet beard he's cultivating.  God, I can't believe anyone thinks he's hot.  To quote my mother, "he looks like a doofus little kid."  I concur--in both theory and word choice.  Doofus is dead on.  Good call, Mom!

As to Cameron, I think she looks good.  Very Cameron-y.  Tiny dress, loose hair, average shoes--the usual.  I do adore her earrings though.  Those get an A-plus. 

"What Happens In Vegas" opens next Friday, and I'm sure it'll make a ton of money and get awful reviews.  A deadly combination because it insures that Hollywood will keep making this kind of dreck.

 

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Related:

Cameron Diaz's Father Dies

Ashton Kutcher Covers Details

Ashton Kutcher is n the cover and between the pages of the May issue of "Details" magazine, which hits the streets nationwide next week.

In this issue, Ashton talks Demi and what it takes to be a good stepfather.

Want more? Check it out here.

Daily Offenders

Happy St. Patrick's Day, But Beware Of The Lepreuchan - Circus Hour

Heather Mills Is A Greedy Bitch - Celebitchy

The Clock Is Ticking On Madonna's Marriage - A Socialite's Life

Catherine Zeta-Jones Refuses To Be Put Out To Pasture - Daily Stab

Ashton Kutcher Denies Being Domesticated - ICYDK

Will Smith Gives Tom Cruise One Of His Fondest Wishes - The Blemish

Matthew McConaughey Likes His Women Dirty - Dlisted

Rumer Willis: Nepotism Is Best

Oh, this is exciting news!  For everyone who was despondent when the Golden Globes got cancelled and Rumer Willis wasn't able to fulfill her duties as Miss Golden Globe, your prays have been answered.  According to E!'s Planet Gossip, Bruce and Demi's numbero uno daughter will be making an appearance on the upcoming comedy series, "Miss Guided," starring Judy Greer.

Isn't that awesome!  I'm so happy Rumer is finally spreading her wings and striking out on her own.  Oh, what's that?  The series is being produced by stepdaddy Ashton Kutcher?  But, surely, that's not how she got this gig.  I mean, one needs only to look at her vast resume--bit parts in her mother and father's movies--to see she's all about the independence.  Ahem.

So who will she play?  Per Judy Greer, “she plays a kind of a badass student.”  Fitting, as she looks like she'd cut a bitch if she didn't get exactly what she wanted.

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Daily Offenders

Is That Frenchie From "Grease?" No, It's Amy Winehouse! - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Badass Wussies Of The Silver Screen - City Rag

The Olsen Twins Latest Endeavor - Dlisted

Ashton And Tyra Team Up For TV Series; End Of Days Near - Mollygood

Is Britney Knocked Up? - Gabsmash

Janet Jackson Needs A Reinvention - Ayyyy

Brittany Murphy Is A Diva - IDLYITW

They Scare Me

Fresh from their Hepatitis A vaccines, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, and Rumer Willis showed up at De Grisogono's Hollywood Dominos Benefitting The Art of Elysium last night.  Do not ask me why Demi and The Chin are are dressed like they're attending a Great Gatsy themed party while Ashton is doing his homage to Huggy Bear; I think we're supposed to think they're all quirky and just gads of fun to be around-- can't you tell by their totally humorous/waxy expressions?  Those people know how to party...

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Ashton Kutcher's Heppy Birthday

Guests at Ashton Kutcher's 30th birthday party a couple weeks ago got a little belated parting gift: a Hepatitis A scare.  People is reporting that everyone who attended the February 7th party at Socialista in NYC is being urged to get a vaccination after one of the bartenders there was infected.  Which is why I do all my drinking in the privacy of my own home.  I just fix myself up on a nice mugful of wine (I don't stand on ceremony) and know that I won't be getting cooties from anyone.  End of PSA.

So, here's the kicker: the guest list was full of lots of A-List type people.  For instance, Demi Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek, Bruce Willis and Madonna.  Imagine telling Madge she has to go get a vaccine.  People have been sent to their death for less.  Allegedly.  I read it somewhere; it's probably not true. Still...

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Demi Moore: Pretty Impressive

Demi Moore turned 45 last month and she looks good.  Damned good.  There are rumors of tons and tons of surgical procedures to keep her looking minty fresh for her husband/fourth child, Ashton Kutcher, but, ya know, it's good work.  She doesn't look pulled or tucked to the point of being able to bounce a quarter off her face, just sort of refreshed.  I mean, she doesn't look Ashton's age (29), but I'd buy it if you told me she was 37 or so. 

Remember when Rumer Willis was a little girl and looked so much like her mother?  What happened there?

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