Katie Holmes: It Only Hurts When She Smiles
Ah, predictability. There's just something so comforting in knowing there are certain things that are for sure: the sun coming up in the morning, a celebrity DUI arrest, and, yes, Katie Holmes being sent out on a "What? Me depressed?" mission by her lord and master husband, Tommy Cruise. And in light of the Star magazine cover story that hit the Internet earlier this week--with the tabloid exclaiming that Katie is cracking under the pressure of being married to the biggest tool movie star in the world--isn't it convenient that the paparazzi knew exactly where to find Katie on this mission? I wonder if she even notices the GPS tracker Tom had installed up her ass. Maybe that explains the grimace of joy.
Anyway, so here's Kate doing, well, whatever it is Kate does. However, if The Daily Mail is to be believed, Mrs. Cruise is heading to Broadway. No, not just to walk around the streets in the hopes of getting her picture taken--in an actual play. Per the UK paper, she's in final negotiations to star in a revival of Arthur Miller's play "All My Sons" along with John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest--who have got to be thinking "are you f&%king kidding me?" And never mind poor Arthur Miller--who must be doing a full 360 in his grave.
Supposedly, Katie has agreed to participate in a private workshop in May. She'll play the part of a woman who visits her former neighbors, the family of a missing pilot she used to love. Um, wait...if it's private how is that Broadway? Oh, maybe Tommy told her she's going to be on Broadway, but she'll really be playing the back room at the Scientology Centre.
But a London theatre expert thinks this is a smashing idea, saying, "this play will be like a shop window for Katie. The aim is to remind people of her acting chops. It's kind of a neat idea."
Yeah, but, it may remind people she's not very good.
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